Of silos and birth certificates

Will the real American please stand up?

Will the real American please stand up?

I’d like to meet Ted Cruz.

For two hours I’ve been trying to think of a humorous take on what I want to say, but I can’t. Sheesh! Where’s George Carlin when we need him?

Back in the day—you know, the idyllic ‘50s, the good ole days when Father Knew Best and we all Left It to Beaver—there was a Communist behind every filing cabinet in Washington, D.C., and most movie directors and screenwriters had a tinge of pink about them. Even Leonard Bernstein was most likely one of “them.”

Our national response to this threat—I mean Threat, with a capital “T”—was to plant guided missile silos in the back yards of unsuspecting kids in places like Kimball, Nebraska, and Lovell, Wyoming. Well, I suppose the missiles weren’t aimed directly at Lenny Bernstein, but they might as well have been.

The missiles were (and still are?) aimed at Communist Russia (formerly, for those under 22 years old, known as the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics). The mere fact that huge conglomeration of republics lumped together under one monolithic and despotic  government had the word “Socialist” in its name made it Godless and fearsome. Communism (godless socialism) was out to get us, and we had to be ready to sacrifice the children of Western Nebraska and Eastern Wyoming to stop the Reds.

Never mind it wasn’t Communism but Joseph Stalin and his un-godsons who were out to get us. Had nothing to do with “Communism,” really. It was Russian totalitarianism. Not ten people in the United States knew then (or know now) what Communism is. My guess is that I’m the only person reading this who has Marx’s Manifesto downloaded on his iPad. And, of course, by the rules of Joe McCarthy who was running the pinko-behind-every-file-cabinet-in-Washington show the very fact that I’ve read the Manifesto and quote it now and then proves I’m a Communist. And virtually as dangerous as Joseph Stalin.

Lenny and fellow travelers

Lenny and fellow travelers

Enter Ted Cruz.

The junior Senator from Texas (from where else could he possibly be?) has taken up Joe McCarthy’s mantle. Cruz raises the possibility that Senator Chuck Hagel from Nebraska might have taken a $200,000 campaign contribution from Communist North Korea. And my friend Kimball almost certainly believes him. Never mind North Korea doesn’t have $200,000 to give to anyone for anything. The fact is that North Korea is not—by definition—Communist. Read the Manifesto. In order to be Communist, a nation has to have lots of goods and the means to produce lots more to share around equally before Communism can be adopted. North Korea does not qualify. Monolithc and despotic, yes. Communist? Nope.

Ted Cruz is, by definition, a liar. He is a debater. A national champion debater.  Debaters have no interest in the truth. All they want is to win the “argument.”  They use words the way the NRA uses the Second Amendment. Kill ‘em dead by any means available—with no regard for the truth. Ted Cruz floats out a preposterous and totally un-sourced question about Senator Hagel and wins the argument—helps delay Senator Hagel’s confirmation as Secretary of Defense—with no regard for the truth. Sophistry at its finest.

So the former Senator from one of the states that used to have (still has?) missile silos planted around to shoot at the Communists is now taking

Likr Ted Cruz

Like Ted Cruz

campaign contributions from one of those so-called Communist countries? Never mind the truth, or even logic.

And, to add insult to injury, Cruz isn’t really an American. He’s a Cuban born in Canada, probably in this country illegally. I sure wish Ted Cruz would show me his birth certificate. How has he perpetuated this fraud? I’d like to meet Ted Cruz. I wish I had cojones like his.